Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
