I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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