You're completely useless in the revolution.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
