Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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