Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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