I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
