We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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