Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
