just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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