I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
