This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
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He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
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I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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