so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
