If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
