dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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