I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
No stitches, just platelets and will power
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
