No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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