she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
