those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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