I wannas sexs uuuuu
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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