she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
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I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
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It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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