It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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