i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
