i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
