I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
