Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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