I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It's shark week go big or go home
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
