he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
