be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
