Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
