I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
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He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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