yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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