Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
