apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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