Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
