There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
