I'm pants shitting drunk right now
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
