Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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