If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Enjoy the penises
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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