Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
