After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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