so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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