no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
he fucked my hip out of place.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
So squirting runs in the family.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
