I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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