OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
