Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize