my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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