wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
