Say something about gay babies.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
