so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
