Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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