he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
