Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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