I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Sober January is a disaster.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
