i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
