I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
