So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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