those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
