I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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