My first STD was from a foam party
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
