Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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