We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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